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Developing a New Title

I will let you in on a secret - the current title of my comic, The Lacrosse Rape Hoax, may be just a little too after ten o'clock, if you know what I mean. People see the title and they become defensive and offensive. It's understandable. America in early 21st century is under high tension. No one knows what the right thing to say is. Speech codes are starting to develop, just like they did in the Soviet Union and just like China's settled back into.

I mean, sheesh, China. They pump out propaganda 24 hours a day about how great they are, but they pollute the most on the entire planet, and their middle class is responsible for the mass extinction of Africa's remaining megafauna. The Chinese middle class thinks "Ivory! That's what I need on my mantlepiece to make sure my neighbors know I'm a big shot!"

I think the Chinese middle class is aware that the population of elephants is dwindling but all that means to them is that ivory is more expensive. It doesn't mean We're running out of elephants and there will be none left, it means Hong Bin down the street has an ivory carving of Yao Ming dribbling a basketball and it will cost me ¥100,000 to get one that is slightly bigger!

Not to mention that the Chinese middle class still, Still! Thinks that eating tiger penises and rhino horns will give them boners. It sounds like a joke but it's one of the stupidest things in the world.

Anyway. Speech codes, yada yada yada.

I'm working on a new title for this comic. One that's a little bit more Amazon-friendly.

Thanks for reading this week! We have gunplay and screams! And Crimebuster! Bye!

Comic transcript

We're looking at a classic Crimebuster comic today and for the next couple of weeks. Like all of them it has no given title, but it's packed with action! If you would like to know what it's about, just read the angry caption on page one but remember to come back to this page for the latest!

Crimebuster leans closer to Virginia. He tries to calm her down by saying "Please don't cry - He's probably been delayed - bridegrooms have a way of getting nervous and forgetting the time!"

There's a picture of a windmill on the wall of Virginia's parent's house. A big black telephone makes a "RRINNGG" sound. Virginia startles, saying "Oh - the phone! That may be Billy now!"

It is! In another part of the United States, Billy has placed a nickel into a pay telephone and asked an operator to connect him with GA-2236 or whatever, and the operator dialed her house! Billy takes a deep, deep breath and says "Ginnie, I'm in a jam - Some guys insisted on me takin' a big bet - my only hope was to fly to the track an' place it! I'm at the airport now, but all the planes are grounded, so I can't make it! I won't be able to pay them off if the horse wins, which is certain! The gang will start gunning for me - that's for sure!"

Billy remembers that stupid dance he took her to, way back when, but banishes that thought. He says "My only chance is to skip town, an' that's no life for you, honey! So just forget you ever met me! Your folks were right about me after all."

Crimebuster cocks an eyebrow as Virginia says "No, Billy, no! Wait - where you are? At least let me see you to say goodbye!"

Virginia implores Crimebuster, "We've got to get to the airport right away! I must see Billy! He's in trouble! Some gang wants to kill him! Oh, this is awful!"

They get in a big black taxicab and drive off. The thing is immense. White wall tires. It cruises by other cars in the street, just as big. Crimebuster thinks, and then says to Virginia "I hate to do it, but I must tell you that Billy is in a jam with the law, too! I'm from Loover's office!"

"Who's Loover?" thinks Virginia to herself, but instead she says "I'm sure Billy wouldn't do anything really wrong! I'd rather you took him to jail, where he could clear himself, than for those killers to get hold of him!"

Speaking of which, we go to the airport now. Scar and a fellow who looks a lot like Superman's pal, Jimmy Olsen, walk on up to Billy, hands careful in their pockets. Scar says to Billy, "You wouldn't be plannin' to leave town, would ya, Bet-a-Buck - Not with Gabby's money?"

Billy whips his head back and forth like he's in an Archie cartoon. "No... I... That is... Let me explain..."

But they don't let him explain. Jimmy Olsen says "Sure - Come with us, an' you can explain to the big boss!"

Scar and Jimmy shove Billy into a big gray car. Virginia and Crimebuster see Scar say "Get in there!" as the taxi pulls into the airport. Virginia points and says "Crimebuster, look - It's Billy! Those two men are forcing him into that car!"

Crimebuster is calm and tells the driver "Driver - follow that car!"

We're in the car they're following now. Jimmy Olsen is driving but it's been about 30 years of drinking since he's been Superman's Pal and he's much the worse for wear. Billy sweats and tells Scar "I swear I was only trying to get to the track to place the bet!"

Scar looks Billy in the eye and says "Ya think we believe that yarn?"

Jimmy Olsen in the front seat looks in the rear view mirror. He interjects "I'm doin' sixty, but I can't shake that cab that's been followin'."

Jimmy doesn't want to waste time. "They must be cops!" he says to Scar, "Pitch the bum outta here! Maybe it'll stop them!"

Scar dismissively fires his pistol twice into Billy's abdomen, puncturing both of Billy's lungs and breaking ribs in front and back. He adds "Yeah, but first I'll throw in a little lead into him for ballast."

Jimmy clutches the air and gasps.

Uh oh! Things sure do look bad for Billy, getting shot at close range like that! Come back next Friday to see if he lives!

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